#I can feel the cringe already
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Taunt Strings Twang
By Aester R. Holly
Tethered tight to me,
We strum together the perefect melody.
Major cord pulled minor,
Our sound changes so subtly.
Never coiled,
We sit at different ends.
The spectrum is broad,
But my field is narrow;
We can not meet,
so it is best to remain friends.
Yet, I love you.
Sure our song's a bit different,
But so are we instruments.
A mist the simple cord progression,
You miss my minor 7th;
It's out shone by my major 6th.
We play on in harmony
As the tones pull away.
We are nearing the point of no return.
When the snap echos in slow beating,
And our melody bare no repeating.
#original poem#original writing#poem#poetry#writing#love poem#love poetry#I hardly understand love#why must it be so fluid!#I have written so many things about them bc i hardly understand it#they're my friend#but I want to spend my life with them#im screaming#I hope to God they don't discover this blog#i'd die from embarrassment and shame#wrench my heart out#dispose of it#I can feel the cringe already#sobbing#If they do- this is a poem about friendship#please you got to believe me
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missed the mark by (looks at calendar) uhhh. hm. but I really wanted to do something for the 5th anniversary! happy five years to these idiots 🎉
#art#twisted wonderland#twst 5th anniversary#i'll stop for a while now i promise i just wanted to get this out#genuinely feels a bit weird to be 5 years in already huh!#that combined with having finally finished up episode 7...#oh no all the milestones hit at once help#hold on while i reminisce for a moment#because MAN i did not expect the anime disney boy game to become so special to me#(especially my little wet rat dragon and his family)#to be fair 2020 onward was uhhh let's say prime timing for a piece of silly and unapologetically indulgent media#(not to get too real here or anything but let's just say that. some of the stuff in 7 specifically did hit a bit harder than it should've.)#but also just. you know how it goes.#sometimes a thing doesn't so much speak to you as it reaches out and grabs you by the throat#with an intensity that shocks and bewilders no one more than you#and sure you can ignore it because having any emotions about media beyond faint scorn is of course the epitome of ~cringe~#but you could also just throw yourself wholeheartedly into it#and lemme tell you one of those options is a hell of a lot more fun#idk i'm just kinda rambling here#it's been a weird five years but i'm glad to have had these guys for it#and hey if nothing else it gave us meleanor#the inside of my brain at any given point is just the 'do it for her' meme covered in pictures of our late great dragon princess#i would not have it any other way
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(AU)
What if you died and something divine loved you so much it couldn't cope with that fact? What if they tried bringing you back but the result was wrong?
More doodles + rambles below:
Now What if what came back was just off. Looks at the divine without the memories that went back decades. It looks, behaves and works in a way just off enough in a way to make the god unable to look at it. it's not you. it's not. it can't be.
.... but what if what got pulled back was still you, but its- YOU'RE wrong and broken in ways you cant understand anymore.
The apocalypse draws closer and closer and you don't know why every day that passes you seem to be falling more and more apart too. The god is gone. You are alone.
....Anyway yeah i fucked up a perfectly normal Lovestory Au. i gave it anxiety is what i did. sorry for horrid typing in 2nd person trying to explain stuff im bad at explaining <3 i draw, not write for a reason lol.
#great god grove#ggg click clack#ggg thespius#ggg lovestory#dont have a name for this au but its haunted me for a week and i finally relented when i saw the fact gods CAN create sentient things#thanks huzzle for letting me be evil [thumbs up]#ANYWAY I PROMISE THERES A HAPPY ENDING IN MY HEAD IM JUST CRUEL AND EVIL#AND ALSO INCREDIBLY CRINGE. APOLOGIES. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN IM ALONE W MY THOUGHTS W NO ONE TO BOUNCE IDEAS OFF OF.#lovestory except everything went wrong at the last second and now everything sucks. Clicky's alone away from everyone. thespius is JUST GON#Huzzle is absolutely losing it's shit in the corner because it's the one that found out first.#Bauhauzzo is trying to not have the world end#and Missy M is absolutely distraught about how everything's gone sideways so fast and is about to start accidentally flooding the grove#cobi isnt even a god yet. (SAD. I MISS HER ALREADY)#sorry this is probably incomprehensible. oops#i think in images and concepts not words so translating a bunch of those hard.#fun part about this was absoultely drawing faces just ever so off from how i draw click clacks expressions to try and nail it aint right#what being off usually being the mouth#if u have questions feel free to ask. ill just stare at them in fear like a deer in headlights /silly#This is Clicky hes just.... a bit messed up. that *is* him; not a copy to be absolutely clear#...even if thespius doesnt think it is#anyway yeah. purple hyacinths right?#sniles#shrivels up and dies#ggg love and loss au
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Based on somewhat real events




I spent way too much time drawing this...
But yeah, Ford finally saying thank you
A continuation (kinda)
#sometimes my skin smells too strongly and I hate it. I wanna crawl up and die. it's not that bad usually#only when I'm already overstimulated#there were 2 times where I was sick and I started crying and almost threw up because the smells were too strong#one time the smell of tge city. the other time it was roasted chicken. I still feel sick when I smell reheated chicken to this day#I'd love to have someone comfort me and rub my back in these moments but 1. I don't want anyone to touch me and#2. I feel like I don't deserve to be touched because it's an inconvenience to others#anyway enough about me. I am now projecting in these characters#I hate drawing their faces so much#gravity falls#stanford pines#ford pines#young stanford pines#stan pines#stanley pines#young stan pines#art#fanart#traditional art#comic#long post#watercolor#forgot to mention but I can't take a shower when the sun is still up except if I was swimming in a pool/sea. no specific reason I just can'#projecting to Ford because Stan would never feel like that :/ oh well#is this cringe? maybe. probably. do I care? no. not really#I'm self diagnosing myself with 'definitely something wrong but not further specified' because this can't be normal#btw sorry if this is disappointing. I tried my best (the first part is pretty neat imo)#wonder if anyone is gonna read all of these tags#is this the worst thing you've seen yet?#teen stan#teen ford
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so like wow. a lot of stuff happened these past two months.
i turned 20, i got accepted into uni, I'm moving to a new city, i may have dengue- its been a mess and ive not managed to make time to really draw anything to post, just focused on commissions and personal art.
sooo have a few of my personal art (in this case, aoiyone) while I'm at the hospital line 👍
#my art#digital art#fanart#artists on tumblr#oc#league of legends#sadly#oc x canon#yone#i feel cringe posting this but AUGH yall already know me for oc x canon!!!!#yone x oc#also yeah. hospital#this weeks great!!!!!!!!!! /s#i hope they put me down like a dog i can barely keep my eyes open#aoiyone
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vent post
#and before anyone who hates my shit says “yeah because you ARE a loser way to have self awareness for once”#i promise you this would be me with or without the LO fandom LMAO#anxiety is a hell of a thing#and as much as i internally guilt myself into thinking it would be better if i just shut up and hid away forever#i also know that's the trauma speaking because the adults around me always told me to shut up#and even as an adult i still encounter people who talk over me and make me feel like i'm not allowed to be outspoken#but the pen is mightier than the sword and all those years i've spent being spoken over i've been honing my penmanship#i have fun talking about the things i talk about and i don't have any less right than anyone else to do it#i am cringe and i am free#self post#vent post#altho on another note i do wanna make time this week to go find new series to read#too many of my favorites have turned to shit and it's taken its toll#i KNOW there are better comics out there that are genuinely well made#i already have a few that i'm reading that i love but i need to balance out the good with the bad more lol#i just need to take the time to go find good stuff instead of pouring so much of my attention into the bullshit that doesn't deserve my tim#i think both things can be true#i can have a lot of fun dissecting and writing about series i don't like#while also nourishing myself with good works that restore my faith in this medium#“perfectly balanced as all things should be”
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I drew him being miserable (bcuz he’s a wet cat of a man) but felt bad. Gave him lollipop.
#tw blood#cw blood#it’s not blood it’s givanium but just in case#garten of banban#Garten of banban fanart#gobb#gobb fanart#he was born in a wet cardboard box all alone#and I adore him for that#he’s just Such a guy#am I the only one who’s actually kinda really sad about him#I’m listening to my sad playlist and thinking ‘omg this is Literally him’#he’s so ‘I bet on losing dogs’ by Mitski to me#do u think banban would like mitski. I think he would#idc if this is cringe#he’s SO sad. I have to make him worse#how to convey that I have to make him feel the Worst. even tho he’s my fav#love this creature. the bong bong#<- was gonna type something like that last tag but ig I’ve already made that joke.?#sorry for so many tags I just Love the tagging function#I can convey so many emotions in just one post with both Text and TAGS it’s the BEST#it’s late an I’m tired. need to sleep before I write more tags abt how I want banban to be sad
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MY REQUEST IS THAT I HOPE U HAVE A GREAT DAY CAUSE YOU DESERVE IT!!! (also, draw one of the characters youre obsessed with currently and tell me about them :) )
Hi Ruka thanks for the ask! Hope you've been having a good holiday season <3
Ended up combining this request with another one I got from twitter which was to draw his partner on the left aka (and I quote verbatim) "that one guy that you show me in DMs sometimes who I think is really handsome and you're really good at drawing him" (if you're reading this James thanks ilu)
I'll be honest this ask intimidated me a little because I've never been good at talking about anything and to be given a little podium to do it is a little… Wohhh. Anyway I'm going to put this under a readmore so I don't cringe every time I scroll past this LOL
God where do I start. He's just so. He's the exact type of moody depressed edgelord that I adore, he speedran his own tragic backstory, he killed off his entire household and ruined his family name in one fell swoop, he hates everyone around him but he hates himself more, 90% of what comes out of his mouth is either an insult or dry wit, he acts like such a hardass but he fucking melts when his partner/best friend/mortal enemy says anything encouraging he's such a liar there is no way you hate him you fucking liar you're such a softie stop lying to yourself you love hi—
Sorry I got away from myself, anyway I just. Like him a lot and I am very much not normal around him (this is okay because I also know for a fact that none of his fans are normal about him, absolutely none) He's cool, he's cute, he's edgy, he's a #girlboss, he's a failboy, he's both a cat boy and a dog boy, he's a 30 year old man but looks like this
Fucking moe ass istg
#ok i should probably stop all this typing and i think all i've done is just talk about how cute he is#hes a lot like specter knight tho with all the doom and gloom and IMMENSE AMOUNT OF GUILT he just happens to look like a pampered rich girl#i'm not going to proofread this because i can already feel myself cringing HGDJSLCD#anyway thanks for letting me just blab on about something i like :') legit been rotting my brain away about this since april#yeah this can go into the ramblings tag#ramblings#ritte draws stuff#nacht faust#yami sukehiro#black clover#asks
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🧍♀️
#I’m feeling so many things rn I’m just gonna explode#none of them are positive#I can’t imagine anything positive right now and I still have 4 weeks left of school yeah#uni?#whatever#I fucking hate this#a lot#I hate feeling like I’m constantly losing time#I’m gonna end up bald of stress fuck everything#and I’m already bald#then I ask idk for a little support and I’m told that I can fail and do the subject again next year?#excuse me wtf?#I swear I’m kissing the train rails tomorrow omg#fuck that last project#WHY IS IT SO TEDIOUS OMG#I didn’t even studied for that same fucking subject’s exam I have no fucking idea if it’s wrong or what#I have brainrot but not in the way I want to omg#I just want these 4 weeks to pass but if that hapoens I’m gonna fail everything and I’m not going through this shit semester again#OVER MY DEAD BODY#NO WAY#VENT DELETE LATER CAUSE I’M TOO CRINGE SORRY FOR THIS#but omg even the dead cockroach in the corner gets more support and attention and I feel too lonely 💀#I’ll give this a while and then go to shit#I guess I ball?
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does anyone else remember when she said i made her wish she was gay…. because i do….
#or when she said ‘we’re basically already lesbians’#or when she asked me ‘how can you tell if it’s a situationship or a slightly gay friendship’#or when she said ‘i’d love to kiss you’#or when she said ‘no lesbian activities except for cuddling with u’#or when she said ‘i’ll be the giver to your receiver’#or just when she literally touches me all the time for no reason just because#like why is she always holding my hand or sitting thigh to thigh or letting me rest my head on her shoulder#guys 😭😭😭 i fear im literally so down bad it’s actually painful and cringe and i feel like im being tortured
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at night I dream of the hummingbird I feel the beating of its wings and if you only had one choice, my dear would you fly or would you sing?
for chapter 28 of @bladesmercy's fic The Fear of Falling Stars
#my art#ff7#sefikura#cloud strife#sephiroth#just a quick sketch bc i had to do somthing with all my feels ;A;#tumblr pls stop lowering image quality#anyway pls click on it then it's not so blurry#every time i finish a piece i'm like yeah u can tell i havent practiced in 15 years#but u know what life is for living and cringe is dead#so i already have 2 more pieces in planning :3#lyrics are tom mcrae's hummingbird song
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...
#shout out to me for being an insufferable loud mouth in my group therapy class for over controlled losers#which is funny bc 1) i used to b extremely extremely shy and afraid of speaking to ppl and 2) bc im probably a normal amount of talkative#now lol. but in this class. its a class setting but im not getting a grade and the material isnt beyond my compression and psychology is a#soft science so i can argue back on things and not b objectivly wrong. so im like fuck it im gonna b annoying bc there r no consequences#except ppl thinking im annoying and like why tf would i care. i only see these ppl in this specific setting#and they have no authority over me and also they're annoying too bc they have similar issues to me but different. and there r archetypes.#like some ppl get real caught up on the rules and terminology of the material and im like ugh ur missing the point. the details dont fucking#matter. just think abt how u can use the idea. or some ppl r like really judgy and think theyre right abt things and im like. ugh. u sound#so insufferable. shut the fuck up. or some ppl r just extremely quiet and blank faced and just giving u nothing u have to carry the whole#conversation to make up for their lack of input. and i dont mean that in a bad way. i think everyone has the right to b annoying. i still#like them. so im like. well fuck it. i can b annoying too. so my annoying things r that im very padantic about the examples that our#instructors give. like: that doesn't fit with what u just said. or this is why i disagree with the idea. or actually i already do this thing#were learning today. which like. if i was an instructor. at least id b glad me as a student was engaging seriously with the materials#and is hopefully clarifying aspects of things. im told im good at conceptualizing things into metaphor.#whatever. i dont care. i mean. i feel intolerable but like also im not gonna stop bc who gives a fuck#also everytime they talk abt evolution stuff or data from studies im very suspicious. like show me how the fuck they quantified the number#of expressions the human face can make. show me the fucking data bc u cant fucking tell me its not an infinite number if u consider every#varied muscle movement in every combination. and its apparently very obvious when im disagreeing bc i make a face#which one of the instructors tried to prement my comments today but i was critical from a different perspective than she thought lol#anyway. shout of to being insufferable. as fucking lyrics from jc superstar wrattle endlessly through the empty caverns of my mind#i fucking love that musical. its rocketed up to like number 3 position. i lov musicals so much#bc im cringe and i don't give a fuck#unrelated
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I’m trialing a new art style and I started by thinking about how Ema would look in it. I kind of hate it but I’m posting it for posterity and to get second opinions(?)



#Okay technically I drew Athena in it first but the drawing itself. Is so nonsensical without context that I literally can’t post it#oooh I’m going to look back on this in a few months and cringe#I can feel it already#WHY AM I ALWAYS DRAWING EMA IN PYJAMAS THIS IS LIKE THE 3RD TIME#there’s no context to these they’re just doodles#Loz’s occasional doodles#ace attorney#ema skye
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the downside of getting cool new horror sans red walls is reorganizing your room and realizing GODDAMN IT I HAVE SO MUCH USELESS SHIT IN HERE
#why do i have a sleeping bag i have only had ONE SLEEPOVER??????#and the like 8 unused jackets when i really only use 3 on the regular 💀💀💀💀#the lamp that i never use. the fairy lights i never use. i already HAVE a central light why would i use those#the 18 plushies i have to get rid of for space (i no longer have shelves. isnt that swell!)#on a side note i did find every halloween costume ive worn Ever#fish triglycercule..... french fries triglycercule...... hot dog triglycercule..... cheese triglycercule........ (there's a theme)#cannot hang up my mirror yet a shame 💔💔💔#I HAVE AN EMPTY LITTLE CORNER IN MY ROOM😈😈😈 this will be the mtt shrine#PIN MAKER GOES THERE MTT (not really but sanrio is close enough right???) FIGURES GO THERE#should i start being cringe and start printing out mtt merch to tape all over my walls like a 2000s teenager#i feel like my mother would Euthanize me if she saw that (she no likey murderous skeletons)#gonna start painting things to hang up but theyre only vaguely mtt reminiscent (the closest thing i can get to merch 💔💔💔)#ALSO I HAVE TWO SWORDS NOW 😁😁😁😁😁 actually tho#am i a loser when i saw the swords and i was like 'ooh this would be good for references when i draw!' 💀💀💀💀💀#winter cleaning is so nice :3 i have SO much dirt and dust and rubble on my everything in here i need a vaccum#dust? dust...... dust sans. dust sans? like the leader of hit group murder time trio???? MURDER TIME TRIO REFERENCE??????#real tricule
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I haven't really done much art for tumblr (at all) lately, cus life, but! Here's a lil something I've been working on (it's a Xmas gift) 💙

(also peep that lil January calendar painting 👀 i did mini squares for each month for myself, because I need to have a physical one always, and they each have their own colour 🥺)
#sometimes i forget i'm a painter lol#this is just the base so i'll still add some cool stuff (colours and some gold leaf details hehe)#usually my thing is more flat/less busy painting (with more mixed media) but i've been digging this vibe lately#my art account is completely wiped cus i private everything earlier this year (same with personal)#but i wanna start posting again. not just old stuff but actually *make* something new everyday#like a little challenge i suppose#since i'm not currently working in my field and have being going through a bit of a rough adjustment period about ✨things✨#(plus the whole depresh spiraling)#i barely have been making any art at all that isn't just sketches/silly stuff#i miss painting. i miss making murals and working on an actual project etc#now that *some * things have been settled AND i finally have my own space i feel a lot more keen on working on it#i know i hardly ever talk about that part of my private life cus i do wanna keep it somewhat separate from here#but i guess i'm in a good mood and kinda ready to admit some stuff#??? that didn't make sense#i'm feeling hopeful for next year and have a semblance of a plan. That's what I meant there you go#i can already feel myself cringe cus everytime i share these type of things something ALWAYS bites my ankles#and that's why i hardly ever share anything at all with anyone ever until it actually is done or underway#which is! not good! i'm aware! but. ya know#ANYWAYS. rant over. look at the pretty colours and ignore my rambles#hmmmm my band crush guy (platonic) (guess who) (🕊️🥁) said my name and loved my super insightful question and i'll probably dream about it#(and the other really liked it too. MY BABE. it was kinda silly so very unexpected)#(okay i think this is buried deep enough to not make myself look like a 12 with a stupid crush) (hehehehehe)#darya does art#<- sure in the art tag it goes#blue#(it was a coincidence! i've never done anything exclusively blue before actually!) (in this capacity i mean)#traditional art#abstract painting
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.
#// thinking of maybe writing my Glinda just aggressively pagan#// which really I just mean I need to write more about her relationship with Lurline#// and also maybe make her a traditional witch like#// yeah whatever maybe her fantasy magic doesn't work but MAN CAN THAT GIRL MANIFEST!!#// but like is it cringe when I'm also a pagan witch irl and is that too much projecting saçjoajsçoas#// I MEAN MAGUIRE MADE HER PAGAN#// in the wise words of Renée Rapp#// IT'S NOT MY FAAAAAAULT#// don't mind me I just made a spell with Freyja after a long time and I'm having all the feelings because I love Her so much#// and when I get actual pagan muses I get so excited bc it's SO RARE to have my beliefs represented SAÇJOASJOÇSA#// and maybe Maguire doesn't really understand how paganism works since he made a monotheistic religion BUT asjçoasçojas#// it's already a lot from a catholic old man!!!!!#// I'll take what I can get!!!
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